tender mercies 1.30.16
10:49 AM
The snow falls gently on the ground while I sit in bed to watch it. I always find myself in such awe. Watching the snow fall and create a winter wonderland is possibly one of the most beautiful things ever. Quickly, I came to a point of realization. I let myself think of how I got here and how thankful I am to be here. I let myself think of my goals and my trials. How this snow is a tender mercy this morning. Waking up, feeling pretty discombobulated, and for God to let it snow.. The snow was simply a sign of peace and comfort to me. He knows me and He loves me. This morning, I let my thoughts sink in.
I asked myself: What is your ultimate goal in life?
I thought of my goals from the past, the present, and the future. Let's start with the past. My senior year, I set a serious goal to get accepted to Brigham Young University. I worked endless hours on end the summer before senior year and all of senior year to save up for college. I knew that my family would not be able to afford it all, so I would have to put that effort and time to work and apply for scholarships and financial aid. I applied and waited. I have never felt so anxious in my life. The night I read my acceptance letter, I have never felt so relieved. I would have never thought I would get accepted to the school of my dreams.. and here I am. I thank God everyday for giving me this opportunity to learn and grow here.
The present: I am applying for the nursing program and preparing to go on a mission. Two things that basically carve out the next few years of my life. Am I scared? Freak yes. Never have I ever been more terrified or stressed in my life. How bad do I want it? Really bad. And what do I need to do?? I need to prepare and do my best. I might get in and I might not get into the nursing program. I want to go on a mission, and it will be something so different and something I clearly have never experienced in my life. But I am willing to work my hardest for those things.
The future: I want to be a nurse. I want to travel the world. I want to fall in love with people, culture, food, places, faces, and so on. I want to get married and have a family. I want to start a humanitarian organization and change lives around the world.
Applying to college, the nursing program, going on a mission, studying abroad, traveling the world, becoming a nurse, finding the one, getting married in the temple with the love of my life, being a mom, having a family, etc. etc., will be hard. They all sound pretty much impossible to me right now.
But to answer my own question from the start of this entry: what is my ultimate goal in life?
I want to do hard things. I want to prove the Lord that I am willing to work at my best. That I am willing to reach my full potential. That through Him, I can do hard things. I want to work hard all of my life to get to where I dream to be. In the end, I want to return in honor to my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. I want to live a life of service and love. I want to inspire and encourage those around me. I want to touch lives with the gospel and the love of Christ. I want to lay in my death bed and feel at peace with the fact that I tried my very best and that I worked as hard as I could to do all things that are pleasing unto the Lord. And don't get me wrong, I am scared. But why would I let my fear of maybe not getting into the nursing program or maybe not having enough money to travel the world or whatever get to me? Why would I let those irrational fears stop me from chasing my dreams? Do what scares you. Achieve the impossible.
A wise friend of mine, Elder McEwan, sent me this quote this week:
I urge you not to take counsel of your fears. I hope you will not say
"I'm not smart enough to study chemical engineering, hence I will
study something less strenuous." "I can't apply myself sufficiently
well enough to study this difficult subject or complicated field,
hence I will choose the other way."
I plead with you to choose the hard way and tax your talents. Our
Heavenly Father will make you equal to your tasks if one should
stumble, if one should take a course and get less than the A grade desired, I
hope such a one will not let it become a discouraging thing to him. I
hope he will rise and try again.
Pres. Thomas S. Monson
In conclusion, I know that the Lord gives us trials in life simply because He knows we can handle it. Right now, school is rough for me, along with some other personal problems, and it is hard to remember what goals I have in life and why I am here. I can't let my trials get in the way and I can't lack motivation because I am letting my trials get to me. I know for a fact that every college student is feeling the same exact way. Whether your trial is a hard subject or a family member falling away from the church, He recognizes how hard you work, and He knows your desires and your real intent. He does not leave you unnoticed. Stay close to the Lord and He will always provide a way. One of my favorite scriptures is Ether 12:11 which reads: "God has prepared a more excellent way, and it is by faith that it hath been fulfilled." Believe that all the things are for the best. Believe in His eternal perspective. Look for His tender mercies and I promise you will feel His love.
I hope as we all go throughout life, through the good and the hard times, that we might take each day slowly. Let the day sink in and notice the small and simple tender mercies. I promise that by recognizing those things, you will never feel alone. You will see the light and the good of each day. You will recognize that God is really there.
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